Sunday, March 31, 2013

So Much Has Changed

Wow! It's been a very long time since I put anything on by blog. So much has changed. All the anguish and ups and downs of my life with Terry are a thing of the past. I wasted 3 long years with him and tried with all my heart and soul to make it work, but alas, some things are just not meant to be

After moving in with him, as stated on my last blog, it was good for a little while before it all started to fall apart. He really didn't want a girlfriend or a companion, he just wanted a roommate. He just wanted my money to help pay his bills. He didn't want to spend any time at all with me. Everything was a NO. Do you want to go out to eat? No. Do you want to go see a movie? No. Do you want to walk around the block? No. Do you want to sit at the table and eat dinner with me? No. Do you want to sit and have a conversation with me? No. Do you want to spend time with me? No. No. No. No. No. No, was all I heard from him.

I was so lonely and let me tell you it is very lonely to live in a house with someone who doesn't want to talk to you or spend any time with you.

I gave it all I had for a long time and for the last year I knew I wanted to leave but I loved his family so much that I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I thought maybe I could just stay so I could have his family in my life. But I wasn't with them everyday and they couldn't fill that void he left in my heart. I finally just had to walk away with a broken heart, not over him, but over his family that I had grown to love so very much. I don't miss him at all, but I do think about Tricia, Terry Jr.,Paige, Mariah, Peyton and Elijah,Tami and Bria every single day.

But I am moving on, making a new life for myself. Loving my new apartment and reaching out an making new friends every chance I get. The next man that comes into my life will have to take it slow and let me learn to trust him. I am have learned to take it one day at a time and let life happen as it may, no expectations.

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